The four A's that every person needs

Over the weekend, I was fortunate enough to go to go to Melbourne to spend a weekend with Deepak Chopra. Now I have to admit that I knew of Deepak Chopra before I went there but I had little knowledge of anything else. Having been to the event, I have to say it was one of the best events of my life.

The main theme of the weekend was about how genes are connected to your overall well being. Essentially, Deepak says that the body should be viewed as an "activity" or a verb rather than a "noun", and because of this, it is easy to change the "activity" based on conscious choice. Based on his numerous scientific research, Deepak explains that 95% of genes of a human being can actually be changed or manipulated consciously by the person. 5% of these genes are known as non-penetrant.. which essentially means that you're pretty much pre-disposed to the eventual dis-ease. If you are under the age of 50 when the dis-ease manifests, it's a one to one correlation to the gene mutation. If you are over the age of 50 when the dis-ease manifests, the dis-ease manifests as a direct result of the lifestyle that you live.

Deepak has this innate skill of being able to explain really complex and perhaps "out there" concept in a way that links it back to science and makes it irrefutably true and correct. In addition to that, he provides such simple analogies and delivers his seminar in a way that is light hearted. I'll share a table later on the 7 stages of consciousness/lifestyle that Deepak took us through and it's amazing that it is quite similar to the 7 mainstream chakras (I call these mainstream as there are HEAPS of chakras in the body but most people know of the main 7) - it really reminds me of Caroline Myss' Anatomy of the Spirit where she breaks down the 7 chakras and shows how it is the underlying premise of most institutionalised religions.

Anyway, today I would like to share one particular insight that I found very interesting - the four A's. Essentially the four A's are:

1. Affection
2. Appreciation
3. Attention
4. Acceptance

 If a person during their childhood receives the 4 A's from their parents/family, the chances are high that the limbic system (i.e. the emotional brain) and their emotional life as an adult is mostly in balance (i.e. homeostasis is normal). If a person during their childhood misses out on all 4 A's, then there is a higher likelihood that their limbic system and their emotional life as an adult is dysfunctional .. which leads to certain behaviours that are less than to be desired.

Now if you look at the 4 A's, it makes a lot of sense. All children are born into the world as perfect and bundles of love and joy. All they want is to have some attention (i.e. not to be ignored), to have affection shown to them (e.g. cuddling, kissing, cooing, etc), to be appreciated for what they do and to be accepted for who they are. When a child (or an adult actually), does not receive one or more of the above, they tend to then exhibit the following manipulative emotional behaviours in order to try to receive the above:

1. They are overly nice (otherwise known as sucking up);
2. They are incredibly nasty;
3. They are very stubborn and set in their ways (i.e. resistant to change or resisting the acknowledgement of other factors); or
4. They play the victim (i.e. this wouldn't have happened to me if they didn't do that).

Generally if they end up getting what they want after exhibiting the above behaviours, it's wired into their brain that that is the way to act in order to receive what they want. If after all that emotional manipulation they still don't get what they want, then they'll tend to accept the situation as it is and just move on (knowing that emotional blackmail per se won't get them anywhere). I'm sure as you are reading thing you can easy identify people who have exhibited the above behaviours.... so the realisation is that those people unfortunately lack one of the 4 A's.. and when you think about them from that perspective, most of us would feel compassion for the said person.

So the good news is that once you have identified the above behaviours, it's really easy to change it as you will most likely know what is lacking - so when you do, give them what they lack and you'll most likely find that they change a lot! Funnily enough, Deepak says that the most effective and fastest way to achieving "love" (which by the way is the ultimate aim of any person), then all you have to do is give them the 4 A's.

That makes a lot of sense to me and I'm sure will make you think and understand why you (and other people) act in certain ways. That's food for thought!