Seeing the positives from the negatives - it's a question of perspective
Today was my second last time at the student massage clinic. Next week will be my last for the trimester, and then a welcomed "break" <-- Not really a break, I'm going to a 2 day course in Melbourne in the 2nd weekend of December to further my skills in other areas and intend to use the next 3 months to read up on Anatomy Trains and Esoteric Anatomy - books that MM gave me months ago and I've barely touched the surface on. Anyway, I had two clients back to back this morning. At the end of each massage session, we seek feedback from the client. My first one wasn't the most complimentary, the second one was fine.
When my supervisor told me that I had unfavorable feedback from a client, I had that shiver down my spine that I had referred to before. Essentially during the massage she kept asking me to apply more oil and then in her feedback she said that I could have gone faster on some areas of the body (fair point as I ended up missing her arms and neck). The thing that got me however was that she did not want me to massage her again. Looks like I may have done something bad but she wasn't willing to tell me so I'm a bit in the dark.
Obviously receiving negative feedback is difficult to take - I'm the type of person who is a perfectionist, so criticism like that is like a kick in the guts. Then I started to think about it a bit - yep I admit that I don't use that much oil. There are a number of reasons for this but I won't go into it because at the end of the day, the fact is that I didn't use that much oil :P In terms of being slow - yes, that is also true. I believe the potential disappointment was due to a lack of communication. The client wanted a focus on her legs and back, but by focusing on that I ended up missing out on other areas. Whether it would have been OK if I had communicated this to the client is something I won't end up knowing about, but the learning from it is that I need to communicate a lot more.
This highlighted to me that, no matter how much I deny it, timing for me is an issue. When I have "clients" over at home for a massage, the massage goes for almost 2 hours. I fail to keep track of the time, but also because I try to treat all areas and then add on the cranio-sacral experiment at the end, things go overtime. Next time I need to be a bit slower in formulating an effective treatment for the client, communicate this clearly to the client and then stick to the strict timing. It will be interesting next week given I need to film a 1 hour massage which includes the abdomen AND the face!
After speaking to some of my lovely friends, the message was "learn from it". That's true - and it's all about perspective. If I had low self-esteem (which I do not as most of you would know), I would let this minor "set back" eat away at me - but nah, I'll take on the feedback and use it to make me a better massage therapist. We also had a self reflections exercise today and that helped me identify some areas for me to improve on too. All to make me a better therapist and meet my client's expectations.
On another note, there's something else I need to work on - balance. I'm really struggling right now to find the right balance in my life. Work, study, catching up with friends, etc. Study is thankfully winding up but the work vs social life is difficult. Actually, I should be out having more fun but I'm not really having that "fun". It's a bit weird to explain - I don't feel like going out and drinking copious amounts anymore. In fact, I can probably only have about 2-3 drinks and then I'm done for the night. My sort of catching up with someone is more over a dinner rather than going out drinking and dancing (the latter I never did that much anyway). Some people have commented that I've become "boring" - I call it "purposeful" instead :P See, it is all about perspective isn't it!!
When my supervisor told me that I had unfavorable feedback from a client, I had that shiver down my spine that I had referred to before. Essentially during the massage she kept asking me to apply more oil and then in her feedback she said that I could have gone faster on some areas of the body (fair point as I ended up missing her arms and neck). The thing that got me however was that she did not want me to massage her again. Looks like I may have done something bad but she wasn't willing to tell me so I'm a bit in the dark.
Obviously receiving negative feedback is difficult to take - I'm the type of person who is a perfectionist, so criticism like that is like a kick in the guts. Then I started to think about it a bit - yep I admit that I don't use that much oil. There are a number of reasons for this but I won't go into it because at the end of the day, the fact is that I didn't use that much oil :P In terms of being slow - yes, that is also true. I believe the potential disappointment was due to a lack of communication. The client wanted a focus on her legs and back, but by focusing on that I ended up missing out on other areas. Whether it would have been OK if I had communicated this to the client is something I won't end up knowing about, but the learning from it is that I need to communicate a lot more.
This highlighted to me that, no matter how much I deny it, timing for me is an issue. When I have "clients" over at home for a massage, the massage goes for almost 2 hours. I fail to keep track of the time, but also because I try to treat all areas and then add on the cranio-sacral experiment at the end, things go overtime. Next time I need to be a bit slower in formulating an effective treatment for the client, communicate this clearly to the client and then stick to the strict timing. It will be interesting next week given I need to film a 1 hour massage which includes the abdomen AND the face!
After speaking to some of my lovely friends, the message was "learn from it". That's true - and it's all about perspective. If I had low self-esteem (which I do not as most of you would know), I would let this minor "set back" eat away at me - but nah, I'll take on the feedback and use it to make me a better massage therapist. We also had a self reflections exercise today and that helped me identify some areas for me to improve on too. All to make me a better therapist and meet my client's expectations.
On another note, there's something else I need to work on - balance. I'm really struggling right now to find the right balance in my life. Work, study, catching up with friends, etc. Study is thankfully winding up but the work vs social life is difficult. Actually, I should be out having more fun but I'm not really having that "fun". It's a bit weird to explain - I don't feel like going out and drinking copious amounts anymore. In fact, I can probably only have about 2-3 drinks and then I'm done for the night. My sort of catching up with someone is more over a dinner rather than going out drinking and dancing (the latter I never did that much anyway). Some people have commented that I've become "boring" - I call it "purposeful" instead :P See, it is all about perspective isn't it!!